Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo) tells us all about women’s bodies.

Why does the U.S. House of Representatives increasingly look like a monkey house in the zoo, with ignorant congressmen swinging from the branches and shocking us civilized people with their bestiality? My parents tell me that, when I was a little tyke, we visited the Bronx Zoo in New York and were assailed by dung thrown at the visitors by the gorillas. It was an early instance, I guess, of gorilla warfare.

What Representative Todd Akin did that upset so many people in both political parties is to hint, by his choice of language, that (1) there is such a thing called “legitimate rape,” which sounds in his words as if it were a good thing and (2) women can, when being raped, shut down their baby-making factory at will. Therefore there is no valid justification for abortion in the event of rape.

Women have tried for so hard and so long to win the equality that they deserve that it has become shocking when a troglodyte like Akin steps forward and makes chattering sounds that betray his ignorance. And he wants to join that Gentleman’s Club known as the U.S. Senate! I don’t think he’ll make it.

It’s back to the bananas for monkey boy.