Corporations Get It All Wrong

If you look at the pictures on Google Image associated with “Automated Attendant,” you get the corporation’s viewpoint on the service. Sure enough, it’s a happy day at Corporate when you can replace a human being with an algorithm. But are the customers calling in happy to have to explain things to a computer being being connected to a real live person?

I am still struggling to get my old phone number back from Spectrum and have encountered several dysfunctional automated attendant conversations. I had to switch my account back from Martine to me, and consequently both of us had to show up at a Spectrum office to prove that we were in fact us. But was I able to describe the situation to the computer answering my call so that it was understood? Nope, not at all. I was presented with a list of options, none of which had any bearing on my phone call, which related to a bureaucratic wrinkle in Spectrum’s office procedures.

Why is it that when presented with a list of options by an automated attendant, I get frustrated and start asking to be connected to a human being, or punching the O for Operator? Maybe because whoever set up the dialog with the customer was too lazy to include more options.

Rarely can I talk directly to a person who knows how to direct my call. Algorithms just reflect the wet dreams of the executives who automatically assume that customer calls are requests for more products or services.

The same sense of unreality can be found in forms that customers fill out on the computer and send to a corporation. Twice last week, I had to choose from several equally irrelevant options with no “Other” option provided. I wound up selecting an option at random, hoping that when a human got involved, I could explain what I really wanted.

In the age of the computer, you, the customer, are merely an inconvenience.