Fruit Flies (Drosophila melanogaster)

Let me say at the outset that I hate fruit flies. And they appear to hate me. I love to eat lots of fresh fruit through the Los Angeles summer, but my apartment becomes infested with the damnable bugs. I have several traps filled with apple cider vinegar in which to drown the unwary. Alas, they seem to have caught on and—except for a about 10-12 weaklings per day—avoid falling into the vinegar.

Several times each day, I venture into the kitchen to squash a few dozen of the invasive Drosophila. They retaliate by flying around my head while I am sitting at the computer and playing the insect equivalent of “chicken.” That only annoys me more, so I go and kill a few dozen more.

Last year’s infestation ended when I purchased a kitchen wastebasket with a top, but I think the new generation has figured out a way to sneak through the cracks. I have to now make daily visits to the dumpster with my garbage.

(Excuse me. I am tired of having my head buzzed by fruit flies. I will go into the kitchen and wreak as much havoc as I can on the surviving population.)

There, I have dispatched another bunch to insect Valhalla. But these bugs are getting smarter. When I walk into the kitchen, they start flying, knowing that I have little chance of catching them in mid-air. It is only when they land that I have any chance of crushing them.

Pah, I almost just swallowed one of the little monsters!