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Psychological Experiments

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John Cleese on Lawyers

I just finished reading John Cleese’s Professor at Large, which reprises a number of talks he gave at Cornell University while he was a visiting Professor-at-Large there over a period of some eighteen years. I broke out laughing when I read the following:

CLEESE: I had to switch to law [at Cambridge University] because there was almost nothing else I could switch to:

INTERVIEWER: So, you’re saying law is easier?

CLEESE: Well, law was kind of easier for me because I am fairly precise with my use of words and I can think in terms of categories, which is all law is—until you start practicing, and then it’s about villainy and low cunning.

I’ll tell you my favorite joke about lawyers because it actually involves universities. The psychological departments of universities are using lawyers now, instead of rats, in their experiments. There are three reasons for this. One is that there are more lawyers than rats. Second, there are some things that rats just won’t do. And thev third is is that there was a bit of a problem because sometimes the experimenters got fond of the rats. And I want you to know that joke has nothing to do with the fact that I am going through an expensive divorce at the moment.

Phobias for Fun and Profit

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Trypophobia: Fear of Clusters of Holes

I am currently reading Kate Summerscale’s The Book of Phobias & Manias: A History of Obsession. In it are discussed an incredible array of things that frighten people. Summerscale takes it all very seriously, examining in each case when the phobia was first discovered and by whom and possible cures, when available.

Presented here are some of the stranger and less commonly known phobias, here more for their humorous side.

Koumpounophobia. Fear of buttons. Apparently Steve Jobs had this, which is why he always wore turtlenecks.

Pogonophobia. Fear of beards.

Telephonophobia. A fear of making or taking telephone calls. I sort of have this.

Triskaidekaphobia. Fear of the number thirteen.

Nomophobia. Fear of not having your cellphone on your person.

Aibohphobia. Fear of palindromes, such as “Able was I ere I saw Elba” or “Lewd did I live evil I did dwel.”

Hippopotomomonstrosesquipedaliophobia. An aversion to long words. The “sesquipedalio” means a foot and a half long in Latin.

This one is not discussed in the book, but I can string together Greek roots with the best of them. This is the most terrifying phobia of them all:

Enochlogynopogonophobia. Fear of being in a large crowd of bearded women.