We have remarked that one reason offered for being a progressive is that things naturally tend to grow better. But the only real reason for being a progressive is that things naturally tend to grow worse. The corruption in things is not only the best argument for being progressive; it is also the only argument against being conservative. The conservative theory would really be quite sweeping and unanswerable if it were not for this one fact. But all conservatism is based upon the idea that if you leave things alone you leave them as they are. But you do not. If you leave a thing alone you leave it to a torrent of change. If you leave a white post alone it will soon be a black post. If you particularly want it to be white you must be always painting it again; that is, you must be always having a revolution. Briefly, if you want the old white post you must have a new white post. But this which is true even of inanimate things is in a quite special and terrible sense true of all human things. An almost unnatural vigilance is really required of the citizen because of the horrible rapidity with which human institutions grow old. It is the custom in passing romance and journalism to talk of men suffering under old tyrannies. But, as a fact, men have almost always suffered under new tyrannies; under tyrannies that had been public liberties hardly twenty years before. Thus England went mad with joy over the patriotic monarchy of Elizabeth; and then (almost immediately afterwards) went mad with rage in the trap of the tyranny of Charles the First. So, again, in France the monarchy became intolerable, not just after it had been tolerated, but just after it had been adored. The son of Louis the well-beloved was Louis the guillotined. So in the same way in England in the nineteenth century the Radical manufacturer was entirely trusted as a mere tribune of the people, until suddenly we heard the cry of the Socialist that he was a tyrant eating the people like bread. So again, we have almost up to the last instant trusted the newspapers as organs of public opinion. Just recently some of us have seen (not slowly, but with a start) that they are obviously nothing of the kind. They are, by the nature of the case, the hobbies of a few rich men. We have not any need to rebel against antiquity; we have to rebel against novelty. It is the new rulers, the capitalist or the editor, who really hold up the modern world. There is no fear that a modern king will attempt to override the constitution; it is more likely that he will ignore the constitution and work behind its back; he will take no advantage of his kingly power; it is more likely that he will take advantage of his kingly powerlessness, of the fact that he is free from criticism and publicity. For the king is the most private person of our time. It will not be necessary for any one to fight again against the proposal of a censorship of the press. We do not need a censorship of the press. We have a censorship by the press.—G. K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy
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Two Socialists: Pope Francis & Jesus
Now our right wing pundits are all attacking Pope Francis for being a Marxist. He has been deemed to be guilty for caring about the poor, just as Jesus Christ was some two thousand years ago. In fact, Christ had no compunction about attacking the rich:
I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:23-26
Southern Nazarene University has an interesting website with Old and New Testament verses regarding the poor. Here is a little nugget I found from the Epistle of James:
“Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, ‘Here’s a good seat for you,’ but say to the poor man, ‘You stand there’ or ‘Sit on the floor by my feet,’ have you not discriminated among yourselves and becomes judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom He promised those who love Him? But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court?” James 2:2-6
Then there is this from 1 John 3:17-18: “If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”
One doesn’t have to delve too deeply in the Bible to find that it is all stacked on the side of the poor and against the rich. And yet, so many right-wing Conservatives believe exactly the opposite. Why? Because it is the rich who are bankrolling them, not the poor.
It seems to me that Pope Francis is the real Christian, and all the pundits aligned against him are heretics who deserve to be burned at the stake. (Dear me, it’s my Catholic background coming out again.)
Talking Point Nation
Every once in a while, some rabid right-wing nut job tries to take me on in these postings, but I never let them get very far. This is not a debating society; and all these goons have to offer are “talking points,” usually from some out-there conservative ideologue such as Glenn Beck or Bill O’Reilly. Typically, these talking points eventually all fall apart because they ultimately rely on some premise which I cannot accept.
For instance, anything that relies on the authority of the Bible or the Constitution is not automatically guaranteed acceptance from me. After all, I think the Second Amendment is a piece of excrement that appears to justify the NRA and other recidivist organizations, now that King George III is safely dead. And according to Article I, Section 2, isn’t our President three-fifths of a human being? (I think he’s twenty-fifths of a conservative Republican.) I know the wording has subsequently been amended, but the House of Representative’s record of racism makes me think they had crossed their fingers behind their backs. Besides, the bewigged Fathers of Our Country were men, not demigods, and as such made many mistakes and evasions that subsequently led to Civil War and hundreds of thousands of casualties a few decades later.
And don’t get me started on the Bible! Although I am by no means an atheist, I think most Bible-toting Evangelicals are little better than the Khmer Rouge, the Taliban, or Peru’s Sendero Luminoso (“Shining Path”) guerrillas. Quote some out-of-context verses at me, Sonny, and I’ll gladly demonstrate to you how you’re probably in violation of the strict dictates of the Books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy. I respect heartfelt beliefs, but note that I may be immune to them.
So if you read what I have to say and thing you can turn me around based on some Oxycontin-inspired argument that Rush Limbaugh pooted out of his butt cheeks, don’t expect me to provide you with a forum.
I suppose I admire how you clowns can hang together, which is convenient for the voters who will kick your Tea Party behinds out of office come next year.
The Perpetual Outrage Machine
The level of political discourse in this country has descended to the level of low buffoonery. Instead of rational political thinking, we have people saying things that are so patently offensive that it is amazing that there is an audience for them. Yet there does, in fact, exist a minority of Americans who live and breathe for just this sort of thing. And there are a large number of people both in politics and the media who have no qualms about supplying it.
It seems that Americans are so thin-skinned that anything will set them off. I used to be one of them. I used to read Salon.Com and RawStory.Com religiously, glowering at stories of the things that American wing-nuts would say to get a rise and develop an odd kind of infamous reputation that, somehow, was not considered repellent by certain people. Today, I discovered that there is a website called Liberal Outrage of the Day, so I guess it cuts both ways.
From Democratic Party money raisers, I am contacted seven or eight times a day with the latest Right-Wing outrage, accompanied by an appeal for money that would presumably be used to combat the named offenders. I have long since stopped reading these e-mails. Stories about what Michele Bachmann, Donald Trump, James De Mint, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and their like now are like [fetid, stagnant] water off a duck’s back. The people who so crudely attack my political values are doing it for fame, power, and money—not to change my mind. They don’t care what I think, just so long as they can appeal to the saps who send them checks in the mail.
I now consider myself a centrist, someone despised by “libtards” and Tea Partiers alike. American politics is now a vast, fetid morass that breeds nothing but disease. The trick is to avoid getting infected by it.
Left Whingers
If you’ve been reading this column for a while, you know that I am hostile to the ideals, such as they are, of the American Right. Does that mean that I am comfortable with the Brie and Chablis crowd of whining, whingeing Progressives?
By no means! Every day I cringe at the political e-mails I receive from various Democratic operatives soliciting funds and great gobs of my time as a volunteer. (To what—snarl at voters?) And if I don’t give generously, it’ll all be my fault what happens were the Right Whingers to take control and turn this into a Totalitarian Taliban Theocracy.
On one hand, there is outrage and whingeing; and, on the other, outrage and whingeing. I guess it all depends whether one feels more at home with Pentecostals or Agnostics, whether one prefers NASCAR or Grand Opera, whether one listens to the likes of Rush Limbaugh or Stephanie Miller.
Well, I’ll take neither, thank you. Life is difficult enough without all those pre-packaged ideologies to which one has to subscribe. And if you think that makes me wishy-washy, I’ll be happy to disabuse youse!
God Hates Westboro Baptist Church
The “Westboro Baptist Church” is no more a church than I am the Pope of Islam. They are a right-wing group that delights in fomenting outrage by picketing events where the vast majority of people attending are against their believes. That doesn’t bother the folks at WBC, who say on their website: “0 – nanoseconds of sleep that WBC members lose over your opinions and feeeeellllliiiiiings.” Also on the same page is a counter of the number of souls God has cast into hell since the web page was loaded. (Yeah, like they know!)
At a time when so much that is called political discourse is actually nothing but grandstanding in front of the media, WBC holds down a particularly odious niche. After all, their website is called GodHatesFags.Com. Whenever some disaster occurs, you can count on these hucksters to tell us all that we had it coming because of our tolerance of gays or something else these misguided white people hate or feel threatened by.
I do not think that WBC will be around for much longer: How much further can they go without bringing peoples’ wrath down on their heads or violating the law in some gross way?
So enjoy them while you can.
Dribbling Dritskers and Elf-Frighteners
The old Vikings had a word for it. I learned about it last night as I was reading the thirteenth century Saga of the People of Eyri (also known as the Eyrbyggja Saga).In it, we learn about Thorolf Moster-Beard who dedicated a temple to his namesake god, Thor, atop Helgafell, a smallish hill near his farm at Thorsnes (now called Stykkishólmur) along the south shore of Breidafjórd. Let’s use the words of the skald who wrote the saga:
He named this mountain Helgafell and believed that he and all his family on the headland would go there when they died. At the place where Thor had come ashore, on the point of the headland, Thorolf held all court sessions and he established a district assembly there. He considered the ground there so sacred that he would not allow it to be defiled in any way, either by blood spilt in rage, or by anybody doing their elf-frighteners there—there was a skerry [small rocky islet] named Dritsker (Shit-Skerry) for that purpose.
Now this is a longish lead-in to the point I am trying to make, which is that television and the other news media are so full of people saying such ridiculous things leading variously to outrage (on the part of all right-thinking people) or pride (on the part of American Conservative wing-nuts). I am referring to people such as Wayne LaPierre; the “Reverend” Pat Robertson; Ted Nugent; Senators Lindsay Graham of South Carolina, Jim Imhofe of Oklahoma, and Rand Paul of Kentucky; Michele Bachmann; Sarah Palin; and Rush Limbaugh. Whenever they move their lips, all that comes out are various shapes and scents of dritskers and elf-frighteners.
Perhaps there should be a skerry someplace to which they can all be transported and where they can practice their creativity without scaring the dogs and children.
If you want to see more pictures of the area around Helgafell, where I will be visiting this June, check out The Magic of Iceland, from where I hijacked the above pic, which is actually one of the least interesting of the bunch.
Nasty and Pungent
A few days ago, I went into one of my Hungarian moods, most likely from feeling extremely dissociated from the Scotch-Irish Confederates that seem to be making so much of the political news. My old friend Lynette commented that she felt I was mostly an American who just happened to think of himself as a Hungarian.
To be sure, if I stepped off the plane at Budapest’s Ferihegy Airport, I’m sure I would think of myself as mostly American, especially if I got a whiff of Hungary’s own Right Wing, the (un)worthy descendants of World War Two’s Arrow Cross, which bid fair to out-Gestapo the Gestapo.
I find it helps to think of myself as a Hungarian whenever I take a sustained look at America’s ugly politics. Think of it as a distancing maneuver. Here is the America of Donald Trump, Wayne La Pierre, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, John Boehner, and the Tea Party—and there I am, off to the sidelines, with an expression on my face of having stepped into something particularly nasty and pungent. Me? I’m a Hungarian, folks: I had nothing to do with this stramash except, perhaps, to admit to having nothing to do with it.
Some people might say that instead of standing off to the side, I should be more directly active politically. Here’s where I must sadly shake my head and say, “Sorry, folks! I’m not really a people person.” I’m fully as capable of damning Progressives as I am of damning Tea Partiers, except that I hate the latter even more.
Some day, the last raggedy elements of the Confederate States of America will sink into the mire. I will probably no longer be around to celebrate. Besides, knowing American history as I do, I am sure it will be replaced by other tendencies equally repellent.
Fighting for Their Rats
I cannot help but think that, in a way, the surrender of Lee to Grant at Appomattox Court House never really happened. The South has decided, instead of surrendering, to fight to the death for a set of beliefs that are irreconcilable to those of most Americans. And they are becoming increasingly more irreconcilable. Now, although “irreconcilable differences” is frequently used as grounds for divorce, in this case I think something else will happen in this course of time.
The biggest enemy that Republican Conservatives from the South will face in the decades to come is demographic change. The Bible-thumping old white people will gradually die out, to be replaced by some fewer young people with the same values, but still more African-Americans, Hispanics, and Asians. This is a trend that is happening in most parts of the country, but I expect that its results will be most strongly felt in the South.
I think Faux News pundit Bill O’Reilly had it right when he said: “Obama wins because it’s not a traditional America anymore. The white establishment is the minority.” He concluded by adding that “people want things.” Of course they do. We all do. And what Tea Party Southerners (“the white establishment”) want is very different from what the new emerging demographic majorities want.
There is something pathetic about these old Confederates still acting as if they were the only game in town, when in fact they are not. And they will grow even fewer, but not before fighting to the last man for their principles.
In Ted Turner’s film Gettysburg, there is a scene in which a Union officer interrogates three Southern prisoners captured during the early fighting skirmishes. The Yankee asks the prisoners why they are fighting. The answer comes back, “for their rights.” Except, the young officer mishears them because of their drawl and thinks they said, “for their rats.” Even when this misunderstanding is cleared up, it is clear that that was not the answer their captors expected. The North thought that the South was fighting for slavery, whereas the South was fighting for the right to do what they believed in, irrespective of what those beliefs were. If those beliefs included slavery, then so be it!
It is somewhat unnerving to think that issues we thought had been decided back in 1865 are still affecting the American political scene. They are, and will continue to do so until a whole lot more water has flown under the bridge.
Throw the Guilty Parties Off the Fiscal Cliff
Metaphors are dangerous things. During this month we have enough to worry about with the supposed end of the world on Friday, December 21, according to somebody’s misinterpretation of the Mayan calendar. And we also have the so-called “Fiscal Cliff,” a series of Draconian cuts that automatically go into action if Congress does not act by the New Year.
Now getting Congress to act quickly—even if there is widespread agreement that failing to act would have dire consequences —is well-nigh impossible. So naturally, I have a modest proposal.
Since approximately half the members of Congress are millionaires, the obvious solution is to make them pay for the mess out of their own funds. Those Senators and Representatives who are unwilling to pony up and make good should be deprived of their civil rights and sold into slavery. Perhaps they could raise a crop of sugar cane in Guantánamo or be sent to political re-education camps in some Blue State that would be willing to take on such a liability.
I think we have been mollycoddling Conservatives for far too long. They are making everything worse for the majority of us and should be made to pay. They could talk secession all they want, but I think that, for these Traitors (and I truly believe they are such), they should be given the “Man Without a Country” treatment.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Edward Everett Hale’s 1863 short story, it tells of a man who repudiated the United States and was sentenced to be passed from ship to ship, never landing on American (or any foreign) territory as long as he lived. Also, he was deprived of access to news about his country. You can read the story at Gutenberg.Com by clicking here.










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