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In Search of Okayness

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The Archetypal Image of Wellness

In America, the cult of Wellness promises endlessly but doesn’t deliver. The image of a twenty-something blonde doing yoga in a beautiful landscape is all well and good, but not exactly the best guide for someone who has been knocked around by life.

It has also become associated with unhelpful practices such as opposition to vaccines, strange dietary practices and weird nutritional supplements.

What I propose to replace the notion of wellness is a concept I have invented called okayness. Let’s face it: You’re not going to live a perfect life. You will have strange illnesses, your teeth will be less than perfect, your family life will be somewhere south of the rom com ideal. What you need is a philosophy of living an acceptable, or okay, life.

Start by disavowing perfection. Start feeling some compassion for yourself. You’re not going to eat seven pounds of kale each day or buy $500 worth of nostrums advertised or recommended by TikTok influencers.

Go for variety in your life. That includes food, activities, and travel. Don’t waste time arguing about religion, politics, or money. Get by. Be okay!

I Go on the Gulag Diet

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Thanks, But No Thanks!

Thanks, But No Thanks!

Today, the doctor threw the book at me. My pancreas has become less able to process carbohydrates. The result: I will have to take even more insulin—two different types, even! And more seriously, I must root out and avoid carbohydrates to the maximum extent possible. I’ll be the person you see with a sour expression on his face discontentedly picking at a salad, moving the lettuce from side to side until I can stomach raising the fork to my mouth.

Effective today, I must reject all offers of food from friends. I may reach into my pocket and eat two or three peanuts when nobody’s looking my way.

What can I eat on the new Gulag Diet? Boots and belts are generally okay, but I must avoid all the carbs that lurk in the bootlaces and stitching.

Eventually, I will make some accommodation to what my doctor assures me is a dire need; but in the meantime, don’t expect me to jump for joy.