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Itch. Scratch.

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You’ve no doubt heard of a film called The Seven-Year Itch. Well, my life could be titled The Eighty-One Year Itch. There isn’t a part of my body which, at one time or another, been subject to intense itching. Right now, it’s my right leg below the knee, my back, and my “naughty bits.”

In the middle of last night, my right leg itched so hard that I had to sit up and scratch it. When I woke up, I found several trails of dried blood and some new little scabs. Whenever I scratch, the itching is always bound to get worse. Maybe it will occur hours later, even the better part of a day later, but it will certainly afflict me again.

My doctor said the itching on my leg is due to my Type 2 Diabetes, so I have to spread some salve on it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help in the short run.

The back has always been itchy. At several strategic locations around my apartment, I have Chinese back scratchers. Alas, my broken collarbone has limited the reach of my right arm, so I have to enlist Martine to help me, which she usually does.

The only itch that I can stop dead within twenty minutes is my “naughty bits” itch. What works is an application of Triamcinalone Acetonide, also known as Kenalog, which is a prescription drug.

Perhaps the ultimate solution is that I shall have to shed all my skin like a snake.

Itchy Eyelids of Death

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It’s A Horrible Feeling!

It’s A Horrible Feeling!

Every once in a while, I get this allergic condition where my eyelids get inflamed and itch like the devil. The temptation is to rub them. That’s works for a few nanoseconds, but the itching and tearing come back with redoubled force. The only thing that seems to work is a prescription drug called Pred-Forte, which is a steroid that my ophthalmologist is reluctant to prescribe to me because … because … well I practically live on steroids.

I have no pituitary gland (I’ll tell you more about that some day), and therefore I must take all my hormones—which are normally controlled by the pituitary—externally. And, well, taking too many steroids long term has numerous baleful effects, some of which I’ve already experienced: osteoarthritis leading to a hip replacement, cataracts, and thinning of the skin—to name just a few.

Today, I went to the free weekly Mindful Meditation session at the Los Angeles Central Library. What I concentrated on was my eyelids. That worked for a while, then on the way back from downtown, in a moment of forgetfulness, I rubbed my eyes. Damn!

During these sieges, I wake up with my eyelids stuck together; and I have to pry them open with the help of my fingers.

This condition has a lot to do with the frequent atmospheric changes caused by the series of rainstorms we have had over the past few months. It won’t last forever, but while it lasts it will be a major annoyance.