In Amongst the Enemy

The Tomb of President Ronald Reagan

The Tomb of President Ronald Reagan

Today I was surrounded by hundreds of Republicans as I visited the library of their sanctified hero, Ronald Wilson Reagan, 40th President of the United States.

While he was Governor of California and President of the United States, I hated him with a white-hot heat. With hundreds of fellow UCLA students, I jeered him at an illegal screening of Bedtime for Bonzo (1951), in which the widely disliked Governor of California was paired with a chimpanzee.

But times have changed. Although I disagreed with him on a number of counts, especially the Iran-Contra affair and the sending of U.S. troops to be blown up by one of the first suicide bombers in Lebanon. And yet, I would prefer him to any of the Klown Kar GOP candidates for 2016. There was a certain intelligence and sincerity to him that I would now find refreshing. He could also whip them all in a debate with his hand (and tongue) tied behind his back.

The words on his tomb (above) read: “I know in my heart that man is good, that what is right will always eventually triumph, and there is purpose and worth to each and every life.” That’s not a bad line to be remembered by.

Curiously, Martine and I showed up at the Reagan Library on June 5, 2004, the day Mr. Reagan died. We were interviewed by the Press (though I never saw my interview on TV). At that time, I said I thought that, although I did not agree with many of his policies, I thought he was a superb communicator. I still stand by that opinion.

 

 

 

 

Totally Out of Whack

None of These Bozos Will Make It to the White House

None of These Bozos Will Make It to the White House

There are currently so many GOP candidates for the Presidency that they could not fit into any vehicle smaller than the trailer of an eighteen-wheeler. Frankly, I don’t think I can name them all from memory. All I know about them is that they tend to say a lot of stupid things, which the echo chamber of the press magnifies until it seems that there is only one political party: The Tea Party.

As for Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton, no one really likes her. I don’t like her. Martine despises her. She is probably more competent to run our country than any of the Klown Kar Republicans. But she knows that everything she says will be drowned out by cries of Benghazi! E-mail! Foundation money! Why, I wouldn’t even be surprised if Faux News reveals that she had a torrid affair with Monica Lewinsky, and they probably have the dress to prove it!

Our political process has become so toxic that the only reason I vote is that I know that, if I didn’t, some Evangelical Jesus child molester will win. Gone is any Roman sense of duty. I will trudge down to the polling precinct by myself, thinking dark thoughts, while crowded church buses full of rednecks vote en masse.

A New Mascot for the GOP

Don’t You Think It’s Appropriate?

Don’t You Think It’s Appropriate?

This is reprinted from a January 2012 posting to the late Multiply.Com:

While the donkey is not a bad mascot for the Democrats, I never thought of the elephant as the truest representation for the GOP. Elephants are actually fairly intelligent: Their brains are larger than those of any other land mammal. And whale brains, though they could be larger, are still smaller proportionately to the elephant’s brain. A whale twenty times as big an as elephant still has a brain that is only twice as large as the pachyderm’s. What is more, elephant brains are strikingly similar to human brains in structure and complexity.

No, what I propose for the Republicans as a symbol is the rhinoceros. Their thick hides do not allow facts to penetrate, and they are likely to launch an attack for no good reason at all. The rhino pictured above is from a 1550 German document and looks ideal for the party of Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Newt Gingrich, Rich Santorum, and Ron Paul.

What is the rhino’s message? “We don’t like your looks; we don’t care about what you have to say; and we are going to attack your ass until it’s hyena chow.”

Also, it is appropriate that the word rhino is British slang for money; and we all know the GOP is the party that stands for big money. (It’s interesting how that came into the language: rhino- is the Greek root for nose, and the word has come to mean cash money for paying through the nose.)

The Real Reason Cantor Lost

Read On for My Peerless Analysis

Read On for My Peerless Analysis

This may strike you as being unscientific, but the reason Eric Cantor lost his seat in Virginia is that no one liked him. He was always a whiny presence on the Washington scene.

Of course, the fact that he may be replaced by an even more dangerous Tea-Party-type is certainly no cause for celebration. The fact is that people who live in Confederate sh*thole districts are not likely to vote for anyone who will do anything but attempt to govern by hijacking or obstructionism. We live in the Disunited States of America and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

You may recall the whole “Left Behind” Evangelical myth that, in the End Times, the saved are wafted to Paradise while everyone else has to suffer the various beasts of the Apocalypse while the saved are eating Corn Nuts and drinking Duff Beer while fluffing their wings and cheering on the Four Horsemen. I think that the people who vote for insufferable right-wing nutjobs have been “left behind” by science, the economy, technology, and everything associated with good sense. All they’re left with is Jesus and their guns.

God help the rest of us!

 

Has the Khmer Rouge Taken Over Congress?

Pol Pot, Tea Party Darling

Pol Pot, Tea Party Darling

The news from Congress is so very strange these days that I am beginning to think that they have been taken over by some extreme guerrilla faction such as the Khmer Rouge or the Sendero Luminoso (Shining Path). The Senate is about to host a three- or four-day pajama party—all night long!—just so they the GOP can express their snit about Harry Reid invoking the “nuclear option” on their right to filibuster Obama’s nominees. As for the House of Representatives, Speaker John Boehner is now aiming daggers at special interest groups that want him to oppose the budget deal put together by Paul Ryan in the House and Senator Patty Murray … even before the details have been released.

Why does it seem that the news from Congress is always bad? The legislative branch of government seems to be permanently broken.

But how does one fix it? Get Mitch McConnell a new burnished turtle shell? Get Boehner a better grade of liquor? Or more handsome and complaisant pages for the Southern senators? What about changing the cooking oil used to make Freedom Fries? (It’s been the same old stuff since Ike was President.) Softer toilet paper for the Congressional stalls? Something’s just gotta give.

One cannot run a government in which two of the three branches of government (yes, I’m including the Supreme Court) are dysfunctional. As Lincoln said:

A house divided against itself cannot stand. I believe this government cannot endure, permanently, half slave and half free. I do not expect the Union to be dissolved — I do not expect the house to fall — but I do expect it will cease to be divided. It will become all one thing or all the other. Either the opponents of slavery will arrest the further spread of it, and place it where the public mind shall rest in the belief that it is in the course of ultimate extinction; or its advocates will push it forward, till it shall become lawful in all the States, old as well as new — North as well as South.

We don’t have slavery any more, just a lot of snarky behind-the-scenes racism. Maybe Lincoln was right: One way or the other, Congress will cease to be so divided. But before that happens, we’ll all need some industrial-strength antacids,

The War Against the Borg

I Think I’m Finally Beginning to Understand This Phenomenon

I Think I’m Finally Beginning to Understand This Phenomenon

My thinking on the whole issue of America’s rightist wingnuts is finally beginning to jell. First of all, they have no real expectation of winning elections, or even of winning most congressional spats such as the recent one over the Shutdown and Obamacare. They really do not care what the majority of Americans think. They know or at least suspect that theirs is a losing fight. When you can’t win battles any more, all that’s left is sheer obstructionism. I am sure that they all think of themselves as if they were General Nathan Bedford Forrest in the last days of the Civil War, going up against the Union knowing they would be outnumbered in every encounter: Their sole hope is to win a few anyhow. Then they can go to their eternal rest (most of them are white and pretty old) knowing they’ve done their best to stem the tide, at least for a while.

There are about fifty so-called bullet-proof seats in Congress occupied by Tea Party types and their running dogs. The voters who elected these intransigent representatives must be made to change their minds, even if it means having other Congressmen gang up on them to vote down laws that would benefit their constituents. That is the only thing that would change their minds, knowing that their man in Congress is not helping their districts. No amount of petitions or snarky attacks on talk shows will have any effect on these people. They don’t care. They have their Tin Pot Jesus who is a great comfort to them in a bewildering world.

Disruptor, Dementor, Borg—They All Amount to the Same Thing

Disruptor, Dementor, Borg—They All Amount to the Same Thing

You may recall the Borg, Captain Picard’s fearful adversary on Star Trek: The Next Generation. The Borg essentially fought without caring whether they won or lost (though they mostly won): It was just in their programming that they would overcome and assimilate all the Non-Borg. As a registered Non-Borg, I do not want to be assimilated. Hence, I will resist—even if they think it is futile.

An Iowa Republican Congressman named Steve King made what I consider to be an interesting comment about the shutdown:

“I want what’s best for the long-term best interest of this country,” the Iowa Republican explained. “I want it to be on Constitutional underpinnings.”

And I want to continue to unleash human nature,” he added. “And I’m afraid we’re going the other direction here. And that is troubling to me.”

Why is it important to “unleash human nature”? And, more important, whose “human nature” does he want to unleash? If he unleashes mine, he may find himself being slugged in the head with a baseball bat.

Another interesting contributor to my thinking on this is that the Rightists are willing to go up against women and the young, which constitute more than half the voters. An interesting article on Salon.Com interviews political consultant Theda Skocpol about the recent fracas. At one point, she says:

We actually did the research, both by pulling together national [data] and by doing observations in groups in three regions. There’s no question that at the grass roots, approximately half of all Republican-identifiers who think of themselves as Tea Partyers are a very conservative-minded old group of white people, some of whom do go all the way back to Goldwater and the Birch Society. They are skeptical of the Republican Party as it has been run in recent years. But they both hate and fear the Democratic Party and Obama. We argued in many ways that anger comes from alarm on the part of these older conservatives that they’re losing their country — that’s what they say. That they’re the true Americans, and they’re losing control of American politics. So that’s the grass-roots component.

All this time, I have been attacking the Republican Party. They have merely been assimilated by the Borg and, in the process, lost their souls, such as they were. Boehner, Cantor, and the other GOP House leaders are dancing to Borg tunes and drawing upon themselves a horrible vengeance from the voters. That is, if the voters remember what happened this time next year.

Congress on Strike? Hire Scabs!

Who Needs ’em?

Who Needs ’em?

I am now going to sound like a Republican: If the U.S. House of Representatives refuses to do its job, give them pink slips and hire scabs. Of course, they would lose their Congressional health benefits and have to rely on Obamacare. It’s rather unlikely anyone else would be so stupid as to give them a job, so they would also have to go on public assistance. The one on the right in the above photo would make a great welfare queen.

In the past, I tried to stop writing about politics, but I find it’s impossible to remain silent when I see my country being attacked by the very people who are supposed to protect it. Didn’t they swear an oath? And now, they are threatening to destroy the U.S. because they don’t like a piece of legislation (the Affordable Care Act) that was duly passed by a previous Congress and vetted through the Supreme Court. Well, if they can do that, I say fire the mo-fos , and maybe give them each a 90-day jail sentence to go with the package. If the law of the land can be unlawfully attacked in this manner, the perquisites of the House of Representatives are also up for grabs.

Weepy John Boehner tells the nation, “This isn’t some damn game!” I say it is, and the crybaby ought to go, but maybe with a 1-year sentence for his part in the fracas.

Here’s the oath of office these scum broke: I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.

Talking Point Nation

I Don’t Know What the Tiger Represents, but of the Piglets There Is Little Doubt

I Don’t Know What the Tiger Represents, but of the Piglets There Is Little Doubt

Every once in a while, some rabid right-wing nut job tries to take me on in these postings, but I never let them get very far. This is not a debating society; and all these goons have to offer are “talking points,” usually from some out-there conservative ideologue such as Glenn Beck or Bill O’Reilly. Typically, these talking points eventually all fall apart because they ultimately rely on some premise which I cannot accept.

For instance, anything that relies on the authority of the Bible or the Constitution is not automatically guaranteed acceptance from me. After all, I think the Second Amendment is a piece of excrement that appears to justify the NRA and other recidivist organizations, now that King George III is safely dead. And according to Article I, Section 2, isn’t our President three-fifths of a human being? (I think he’s twenty-fifths of a conservative Republican.) I know the wording has subsequently been amended, but the House of Representative’s record of racism makes me think they had crossed their fingers behind their backs. Besides, the bewigged Fathers of Our Country were men, not demigods, and as such made many mistakes and evasions that subsequently led to Civil War and hundreds of thousands of casualties a few decades later.

And don’t get me started on the Bible! Although I am by no means an atheist, I think most Bible-toting Evangelicals are little better than the Khmer Rouge, the Taliban, or Peru’s Sendero Luminoso (“Shining Path”) guerrillas. Quote some out-of-context verses at me, Sonny, and I’ll gladly demonstrate to you how you’re probably in violation of the strict dictates of the Books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy. I respect heartfelt beliefs, but note that I may be immune to them.

So if you read what I have to say and thing you can turn me around based on some Oxycontin-inspired argument that Rush Limbaugh pooted out of his butt cheeks, don’t expect me to provide you with a forum.

I suppose I admire how you clowns can hang together, which is convenient for the voters who will kick your Tea Party behinds out of office come next year.

Money to Stop the Shutdown?

How Would Contributing More Money to the Democrats Affect the Shutdown?

How Would Contributing More Money to the Democrats Affect the Shutdown?

My e-mails this morning were full of requests for money by various Democratic organizations to stop the shutdown. How, pray tell, would that happen? Now I would not mind contributing my hard-earned money to have John Boehner hog-tied and dragged through the streets of Washington, or to have Eric Cantor split down the middle by a chainsaw, or Paul Ryan molested by 150 rabid Catholic priests.

But that’s not what the money is going toward. Is it to bring a frown to Boehner’s face? That sad alcoholic wouldn’t even notice the difference.

No, it’s just that the Democrats want more money to eventually throw at television stations. There’s nothing they could do with the money now to avert the shutdown other than staging a mass annihilation of the House of Representatives (not a bad idea at that!), but they wouldn’t have the guts….

In consequence, I will ignore these importunate e-mails while shaking my head at the gullibility of my fellow man. Oh, well, a fool and his money are soon parted.

 

 

What to Do With Congress

I’ve Had It With These Clowns

I’ve Had It With These Clowns

There are several ways to approach dealing with the U.S. House of Representatives. One could arrest about half of them for high treason and have them drawn and quartered the way our British cousins were accustomed to doing. But that would cost too much money. Perhaps it would be better to just waterproof the chamber and flood it to the rafters with polluted water—but only if there were a quorum present.

I think turning the room into an aquarium would be the only effective means of dealing with the Republicans, even if we lost a few cowardly Democrats in the process.

Any other ideas out there? (Please note: I am not interested in hearing from Republicans. I’ve heard far too much from them already.)