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Corporate Zombies

If Corporations Are People, What Kind of People Are They?

If Corporations Are People, What Kind of People Are They?

The most popular posting I have ever made here at WordPress was entitled “Notes on the Zombie Apocalypse.” Why zombies and not werewolves, vampires, re-animated mummies, Frankenstein monsters, or even Creatures from the Black Lagoon? Then I thought of the Supreme Court’s Citizens United ruling about corporations having the same rights as people. Bingo!

It took the zombie conservative phalanx of the Supremes—Roberts, Alito, Scalia, Thomas, and Kennedy—to attempt to pump life into this horror story. If corporations are people, what other things might have the same rights as people? Perhaps Tweets and Ann Coulter blog posts might also be so classified. What if we have to admit a Wayne LaPierre NRA Tweet into the Boy Scouts as a Tenderfoot? Would it have to learn how to swim and memorize the Morse Code? (Or is that a requirement any more?)

Now that corporate zombies have a whole slew of rights, we can look forward to having our brains devoured with increased efficiency.

Look out, people! The undead walk among us.


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