Bedford, Ohio

Novelist Thomas Wolfe was right: You really can’t go home again. When I graduated from high school in Bedford, Ohio in 1962, most of my graduating class left Cleveland. It was at a time when the population of “The Mistake on the Lake” was plummeting. When I was in grade school, it was the seventh largest city in the United States. A scant few years later, factories and businesses were shutting down at a fearsome rate.

To make things worse, when I returned to Cleveland for a visit, I was promptly infantilized, even after I graduated from an Ivy League College and worked as a computer programmer at System Development Corporation in the late 1960s, I was always remembered as the snot-nosed kid. So be it.

Here is a nifty poem by Joyce Carol Oates on the subject, from a slightly different slant:

Hometown Waiting for You

All these decades we’ve been waiting here for you. Welcome!
You do look lonely.
No one knows you the way we know you.
And you know us.

Did you actually (once) tell yourself—I am better than this?
One day actually (once) tell yourself—I deserve better than this?

Fact is,you couldn’t escape us.
And we have been waiting for you. Welcome home!
Boasting how a scholarship bore you away
like a chariot of the gods except
where you are born, your soul remains.

We all die young here.
Not one of us outlived young here.
Check out obituaries
in the Lockport Union Sun & Journal.
Car crash,
overdose.
Gunshot, fire.
Cancers of breast,
ovaries, lung,
colon. Heart
attack, cirrhosis
of liver.
Assault, battery.
Stroke! And—
did I say over-
dose? Car
crash?

Filling up the cemeteries here.
Plastic trash here.
Unbiodegradable Styrofoam here.
Three-quarters of your seventh-
grade class now
in urns, ash and what remains
in red MAGA hats.

Those flashy cars
you’d have given your soul
to ride in,
just once, now
eyeless
rusting hulks
in tall grass.
Those eyes you’d
wished might crawl
upon you like ants,
in graveyards
of broken glass.

Atwater Park where
you’d wept
in obscure shame
and now whatever
his name who’d trampled
your heart, he’s
ash.

Proud as hell
of you though
(we admit)
never read a
goddamn word
you’ve written.

We never forgave you. We hate winners.

Still, it’s not too late.
Did I say overdose?
Why otherwise are you here?