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No Nuclear Weapons for Ferguson PD!

Also: No Drones or Bombers Have Been Approved

Also: No Drones or Bombers Have Been Approved

President Obama today declared in an impromptu press conference that no drones, bombers, or nuclear warheads would be approved for the Ferguson, Missouri Police Department for riot control.

National Rifle Association (NRA) Executive Vice President Wayne La Pierre protested the President’s decision, followed quickly by Senator Lindsay Graham (R-SC), who stated, “The Second Amendment gives us full authority to pulverize any nigras who threaten public order—by any means possible.” House Speaker John Boehner could not be reached for comment, though it is suspected he was either being briefed by Tea Party representatives or putting a new coat of orange paint on his face.

In the meantime, Vladimir Putin has authorized two hundred white trucks to cross the Mississippi River to give humanitarian aid to the white population of the Saint Louis area. It is suspected, however, that these trucks may contain RPGs and automatic weapons to assist the Robocops of the Ferguson Police Department.



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