A Hiker Walking Along a Narrow Ridge Trail with Mount Rainier in the Background
In my dealings with Martine, I am faced with two abysses. On one hand, I wish to be compassionate with a woman I have loved for thirty years. On the other, I don’t want to destroy myself by not looking sufficiently after my own survival. It is possible to be so compassionate that I no longer have the wherewithal to support myself in my fairly abstemious life style.
Martine is clearly in need of counseling. Unfortunately, I cannot force her to see a therapist if she doesn’t want to; and she clearly doesn’t want to. She is currently planning another escape, this time to Salt Lake City, where she thinks she will get free or super cheap housing when she really doesn’t have much money to spend. I fully expect for this second escapade to fail; and I will be called by her or some social worker to send her a ticket back to Los Angeles.
Each time she returns to L.A., she will hate the city (and perhaps me, too) even more. Yet she is not healthy enough to live on the streets, especially in a city that has a real winter.
I am walking on a narrow path and have to find my way somehow.
ms. mudpuddle was a social worker for many years and she dealt with situations like yours… i highly recommend you find one and let her help… it really works… love the photo: just from my neck of the woods: i live about 40 miles south of there…
Mudpuddle said what I was just about to say! Find a social worker and talk to him or her. One thing you have to learn is that you cannot fix people who don’t want to be fixed. Another thing you might need to know is that whatever help is available for Martine in California may be difficult to transfer. It was hugely difficult with my two sisters. That said, she needs to find out what help is available. That’s more important the the cost of a home because some places even help with that.
That is a beautiful photo — I too live not far away, but to the north and west. If I get high enough, I can see Mt. Rainier from here.
Jim, maybe we can talk on the phone sometime over the holidays? I’ll try to email you. Meanwhile, take good care of yourself. Yes, if Martine can get some counseling or would accept it, you should try that. Have a Happy Thanksgving.
I also vote for the social worker idea. A doctor might be a good thing, too, imo. Martine may have a medical reason for her behavior. Best of luck, I enjoy your blog, admire your habits and wish this wasn’t happening to either of you.
Martine has refused all counseling and distrusts social workers after one of them had her committed in Truckee for a couple of days.
i feel for you; it’s hard to know what to do in cases like that… just let them go their own way, i guess…