What to Do With Congress

I’ve Had It With These Clowns

I’ve Had It With These Clowns

There are several ways to approach dealing with the U.S. House of Representatives. One could arrest about half of them for high treason and have them drawn and quartered the way our British cousins were accustomed to doing. But that would cost too much money. Perhaps it would be better to just waterproof the chamber and flood it to the rafters with polluted water—but only if there were a quorum present.

I think turning the room into an aquarium would be the only effective means of dealing with the Republicans, even if we lost a few cowardly Democrats in the process.

Any other ideas out there? (Please note: I am not interested in hearing from Republicans. I’ve heard far too much from them already.)

Cruz (Unguided) Missile

Why Do I Suddenly Feel This Is the Weimar Republic?

Why Do I Suddenly Feel This Is the Weimar Republic?

Who is this man and where did he come from? Oh, yeah. Texas. Well, I should have known.

One interesting phenomenon about all these Tea Party darlings, from Michele Bachmann to Sarah Palin to Rand Paul to (now) Ted Cruz, is that they rise up suddenly from the backwoods and hit the news media with a sudden and glittering éclat before they sink into the malodorous miasma of bad reputations.

I suppose there are people who subscribe to the Tea Party principles of “That government governs best which doesn’t exist.” If you’ve read anything I’ve written over the last year or so, you know I don’t hold with that brand of anarchism. The sad thing is that many adherents of those beliefs are dependent on the same government programs that they oppose on quasi-ideological grounds. It wouldn’t be the first time that large masses of people shot themselves in the foot.

In the end, I think that Ted Cruz will be one of the people responsible for the latest demolition of the Republican Party. In the past, the GOP has come back Phoenix-like from its previous devastations—only to blunder into even more destructive ones. What can one do with a party that is paid for by uncaring CEOs for the sole purpose of lightening their own personal tax loads and that of their business enterprises? The Tea Partyers are merely low speed bumps on the road to where the 1% wants to go.

 

The Perpetual Outrage Machine

“We Should All Get Along, But Progressives Should Be Hunted Down Like Nazis”

Glenn Beck: “We Should All Get Along, But Progressives Should Be Hunted Down Like Nazis”

The level of political discourse in this country has descended to the level of low buffoonery. Instead of rational political thinking, we have people saying things that are so patently offensive that it is amazing that there is an audience for them. Yet there does, in fact, exist a minority of Americans who live and breathe for just this sort of thing. And there are a large number of people both in politics and the media who have no qualms about supplying it.

It seems that Americans are so thin-skinned that anything will set them off. I used to be one of them. I used to read Salon.Com and RawStory.Com religiously, glowering at stories of the things that American wing-nuts would say to get a rise and develop an odd kind of infamous reputation that, somehow, was not considered repellent by certain people. Today, I discovered that there is a website called Liberal Outrage of the Day, so I guess it cuts both ways.

From Democratic Party money raisers, I am contacted seven or eight times a day with the latest Right-Wing outrage, accompanied by an appeal for money that would presumably be used to combat the named offenders. I have long since stopped reading these e-mails. Stories about what Michele Bachmann, Donald Trump, James De Mint, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and their like now are like [fetid, stagnant] water off a duck’s back. The people who so crudely attack my political values are doing it for fame, power, and money—not to change my mind. They don’t care what I think, just so long as they can appeal to the saps who send them checks in the mail.

I now consider myself a centrist, someone despised by “libtards” and Tea Partiers alike. American politics is now a vast, fetid morass that breeds nothing but disease. The trick is to avoid getting infected by it.

 

Boo-Birds and Soreheads

Alexander Stephens, Vice President of the Confederate States of America

Alexander Stephens, Vice President of the Confederate States of America

In the past, I have been critical of what I sneeringly referred to as the Confederate States of America. Now, as I am slowly working my way through the second volume of Shelby Foote’s magnificent The Civil War: A Narrative, I realize that further distinctions need to be made.

On the Southern side were such admirable and talented men as Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee, and such great generals as Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson and Nathan Bedford Forrest (though the latter, as founder of the Ku Klux Klan, was not terribly admirable).

Where I was mistaken is that certain political partisans, such as the Tea Partiers, have more in common with the people who were like a saddle sore to Davis and Lee. The diminutive Alexander Stephens, Davis’s Vice President, got so disgruntled by the politics of Richmond that he just moved back to his home state of Georgia and stayed there. The Confederate paper dollar plummeted in value, eventually sinking to one-twelfth the value of a gold dollar. As Foote writes:

[T]here were many behind the southern lines who disagreed with [Davis]; who were also for peace, but only on Union terms. Some had lost heart as a result of the recent reverses [at Gettysburg and Vicksburg], while other had had no heart for the war in the first place. The latter formed a hard core of resistance around which the former gathered in numbers that increased with every Federal success. It was these men Davis had in mind when, after referring to “threats of alienation” and “preparation for organized opposition.”

I cannot help but think that the Limbaughs and Hannities of our time would also have fought against their government at Richmond. There is a certain strain of sorehead or boo-bird that is incompatible with any leader who is actually trying to accomplish something even halfway laudable—even if we were to assume that States’ Rights was a laudable goal (which I myself do not).

After Gettysburg, Lee asked Davis to be relievbed of his command.  Davis responded with a heartfelt letter that made the Army of Northern Virginia take back his resignation:

RICHMOND, VA., August 11, 1863.

GENERAL R. E. LEE,

Commanding Army of Northern Virginia.

GENERAL : Yours of the 8th instant has been received. I am glad that you concur so entirely with me as to the wants of our country in this trying hour, and am happy to add that, after the first depression consequent upon our disasters in the West, indications have appeared that our people will exhibit that fortitude which we agree in believing is alone needful to secure ultimate success.

It well became Sidney Johnston, when overwhelmed by a senseless clamor, to admit the rule that success is the test of merit, and yet there is nothing which I have found to require a greater effort of patience than to bear the criticisms of the ignorant, who pronounce everything a failure which does not equal their expectations or desires, and can see no good result which is not in the line of their own imaginings. I admit the propriety of your conclusions, that an officer who loses the confidence of his troops should have his position changed, whatever may be his ability; but when I read the sentence, I was not at all prepared for the application you were about to make. Expressions of discontent in the public journals furnish but little evidence of the sentiment of an army. I wish it were otherwise, even though all the abuse of my self should be accepted as the results of honest observation.

Were you capable of stooping to it, you could easily surround yourself with those who would fill the press with your laudations and seek to exalt you for what you have not done, rather than detract from the achievements which will make you and your army the subject of history, and object of the world’s admiration for generations to come.

I am truly sorry to know that you still feel the effects of the illness you suffered last spring, and can readily understand the embarrassments you experience in using the eyes of others, having been so much accustomed to make your own reconnoissances. Practice will, however, do much to relieve that embarrassment, and the minute knowledge of the country which you have acquired will render you less dependent for topographical information.

But suppose, my dear friend, that I were to admit, with all their implications, the points which you present, where am I to find that new commander who is to possess the greater ability which you believe to be required ? I do not doubt the readiness with which you would give way to one who could accomplish all that you have wished, and you will do me the justice to believe that, if Providence should kindly offer such a person for our use, I would not hesitate to avail of his services.

My sight is not sufficiently penetrating to discover such hidden merit, if it exists, and I have but used to you the language of sober earnestness, when I have impressed upon you the propriety of avoiding all unnecessary exposure to danger, because I felt your country could not bear to lose you. To ask me to substitute you by someone in my judgment more fit to command, or who would possess more of the confidence of the army, or of reflecting men in the country, is to demand an impossibility.

It only remains for me to hope that you will take all possible care of yourself, that your health and strength may be entirely restored, and that the Lord will preserve you for the important duties devolved upon you in the struggle of our suffering country for the independence of which we have engaged in war to maintain.

As ever, very respectfully and truly,

(Signed) JEFFERSON DAVIS.

I take back my words about the Confederates States of America. Even in the South, there were Archangels, and there were also malignant spirits.

Left Whingers

Between the Devil and the Deep Blues

Between the Devil and the Deep Blues

If you’ve been reading this column for a while, you know that I am hostile to the ideals, such as they are, of the American Right. Does that mean that I am comfortable with the Brie and Chablis crowd of whining, whingeing Progressives?

By no means! Every day I cringe at the political e-mails I receive from various Democratic operatives soliciting funds and great gobs of my time as a volunteer. (To what—snarl at voters?) And if I don’t give generously, it’ll all be my fault what happens were the Right Whingers to take control and turn this into a Totalitarian Taliban Theocracy.

On one hand, there is outrage and whingeing; and, on the other, outrage and whingeing. I guess it all depends whether one feels more at home with Pentecostals or Agnostics, whether one prefers NASCAR or Grand Opera, whether one listens to the likes of Rush Limbaugh or Stephanie Miller.

Well, I’ll take neither, thank you. Life is difficult enough without all those pre-packaged ideologies to which one has to subscribe. And if you think that makes me wishy-washy, I’ll be happy to disabuse youse!

Politics and Food

Sesame Green Onion Bread

Sesame Green Onion Bread

This last week, Martine watched a replay of an old Huell Howser visit to the China Islamic Restaurant in Rosemead. Now I used to go there some twenty years ago, but for some reason I thought the restaurant had gone out of business. A quick Internet check showed me that, no, it was still there.

Today, we drove out to Rosemead and I was able to indulge in what I used to eat there: sesame green onion bread (pictured above) and dough slice chow mein with lamb. I was in seventh heaven. I suspect, however, that my glucose reading this evening will be a tad on the high side, so I’ll have to compensate. Then again, I was waiting for twenty years to relive those flavors. So it goes.

Although I am not Muslim and do not find myself drawn to Islamic beliefs, I think that politics and religion have zero effect on my tastes in food. Even Martine, who is considerably to the right of me, loves hummus and chicken kebabs.

Afterwards, we drove to the 99 Ranch Market in San Gabriel for supplies to cook my own chow mein during the week. I was low on Kimlan Soy Sauce (my favorite), corn starch, bean sprouts, and Nanka Seimen chow mein noodles. The 99 Ranch Market is a huge Chinese supermarket with great prices for fruit and vegetables. The pork I bought there for the chow mein was also a good deal.

Martine was a bit put out by the crowds at the market, but I knew why the crowds were there.

 

Politics As It Should Be

Outgoing Icelandic Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir

Outgoing Icelandic Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir

There is a delightful little video on YouTube about the recent change of government in Iceland. Although I didn’t understand a word of it, I loved the spirit of the whole thing. Instead of doing the kind of mean-spirited things that characterize American politics, the Icelanders had a little fun with it. In particular, do not miss the bomb-detecting robot in the Prime Minister’s Office Building! (That’s the two-story 18th century building shown in the video, also worn as a hat at the beginning.)

By the way, outgoing PM Johanna Sigurdardottir was probably the first lesbian head of state who was in a same-sex marriage.

There Is No Bully Pulpit

It’s a Different World Now

It’s a Different World Now

I remember when H. Ross Perot was running for President on an independent ticket in 1992 and 1996, he used a phrase that was new to me: He said the Presidency was a “Bully Pulpit,” meaning it was a superior platform for advocating a political agenda. Perhaps, as late as the 1990s, that might have been true. But it is, alas, true no longer.

What has happened since then is the creation of the Great Republican Noise Machine, with its Faux News adjunct. The President can now be shouted down. He has been called a liar in a session of Congress—by a Congressman from South Carolina, no less; and he has been heckled at a press conference by a gay marriage advocate. Perhaps the podium at which the President stands is more useful these days for ducking brickbats than as a symbol of presidential power.

There is one slight problem with all this disrespect. It is not merely Barack Obama who is being treated contemptuously, but also the office of the President of the United States. Whoever inherits his mantle—be it Republican or Democrat—will now have to face the same barrage. What’s next? Will U.S. Senators start throwing shoes?

Just remember: What goes around, comes around. In spades!

Two Jerks from Oklahoma

Senator Jim Inhofe (R-OK)

Senator Jim Inhofe (R-OK)

At the same time that I am appalled at the tornado devastation in Oklahoma, I am also appalled at the weasels that Oklahomans chose to represent them in the U.S. Senate. Jim Inhofe (R-OK) and Tom Coburn (R-OK) both voted against aid to Hurricane Sandy victims in New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut … while at the same time making darned sure that Oklahoma would get all the help it needed. Everyone knows that New Yorkers are all liberals, and they should be made to pay for it!

Hey, bozos, these aren’t the Confederate States of America! We’re all in the same boat—whether it’s an earthquake in California or Alaska, a hurricane in Louisiana, a volcanic eruption in Oregon, a drought in Texas, or a tsunami in Hawaii. We are all Americans and all need help when Mother Nature throws the book at us.

Irrespective of whether global warming is affected by what human beings do, we all suffer more or less equally from the vagaries of nature.

Tom Coburn (R-OK)

Tom Coburn (R-OK)

Either Inhofe or Coburn suggested that Oklahoma should be helped, but that help should be financed by cuts to Federal spending. That could work—under certain circumstances. Let me see: How much does a U.S. Senator earn? I am sure that both gentlemen, out of an excess of patriotism, would be willing to serve without compensation.