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Not Out of the Woods Yet

The Conditions That Led to Martine’s Leaving Are Still in Place

I was happy to see Martine again yesterday, but her return had more to do with the discomfort of land travel over long distances on the cheap, and the fact that she had come down with a cold. She still hates Los Angeles and wants to leave. Yet, at the same time, she said she missed me and thought of me daily. (I also thought of her daily.)

Ultimately, to be cured of this mania, she has to takes steps to confront her depression: She spends some twelve hours a day in bad, and about six hours a day lying flat on her back on the couch. She does the laundry, washes the dishes, and cleans up around the apartment. That accounts for most of her time.

Today, I made a big pot of lentil soup with vegetables cooked in chicken stock. I hope it helps her with her cold.

I do not give Martine money to leave town, and on each of this trips, she wastes more of her own funds, which are dwindling rapidly. While she is with me, I will continue to pay for her food, rent, health, and recreation. I don’t think she can afford more than one or two at the most of these little escapes. But we are not talking about rational behavior here.

Whatever I can do without hurting myself, I will do. I feel no real resentment at her escapes, just sadness. I try to leave her with the feeling that, when the escape attempt fails, I will be there to try to pick up the pieces again.


2 thoughts on “Not Out of the Woods Yet

  1. So glad Martine is safe. Depression colors thinking and often distorts reality so that one thinks it is the outer things that are wrong with one’s life. When in reality it is the depression itself. But a depressed person simply doesn’t know that…..
    Even though I’m an active horsewoman, hiker etc and live on a lovely ranch in the mountains of Oregon, with plenty of activity and fresh air, I still suffered from SAD ( seasonal affect disorder) especially in fall and winter when it’s gloomy and rainy. I won’t take anti depressants myself because they really have alot of side effects. I found 5htp which is an herbal seratonin booster many Europeans use. It’s worked miraculously for me. It’s over the counter and inexpensive. I also learned to avoid sugar, wheat and caffeine which can exacerbate mental highs and lows.
    Martine is really lucky to have a gentle caring person like you. She also sounds like a wonderful person herself. Saying some prayers there will be some answers for her that will work.

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