More Executive Orders on the Way

It is the perfect Trumpian moment. Surrounded by the usual wooden MAGA manikins, the Imperial President holds up for view his latest executive order. There is a grumpy look on his face, because he suspects that, somewhere, a sword of Damocles hangs over his head. But who is holding it? Not the Democrats. And certainly not the Republicans, who exist only to worship his very excrement. Why, oh why isn’t he happy?

Perhaps what we need are more executive orders, and as I write these words, even now they are coming into being:

Wind. We all know the Trumpster doesn’t like wind power. Now he tells us his is banning wind altogether. I hope you like your recent weather, because without wind to move those high and low pressure areas around, that’s what you’re going to be stuck with.

Floundering Father. Did you know that the Donald signed the Declaration of Independence in 1776 and the Constitution in … whenever it was? He was truly one of our Floundering Fathers.

Third Party. The Democrats do not appreciate him; and even the Republicans are becoming restive. Trumpian logic requires a new political party—the Trumpian party. Oh, and the two existing parties are being outlawed. Even now, ICE is rounding up the Communists and Traitors.

Trump House. Since he saw fit to add a perfect ballroom to the president’s mansion, it should be called the Trump House. White no more, the Trump House is now coated with a thin layer of 24 karat gold to match with the plumbing fixtures. Besides, who else will ever be in residence?

Deity. Henceforth, the Supreme Being will be referred to as Trump rather than God.

Trumpida. To honor his palatial Mar-a-Lardo residence, Trump is changing the name of the State of Florida to the State of Trumpida.