There have been some new developments since the quasi-filibuster of Ted Cruz in the U.S. Senate, which ended up proving nothing more than the man has no excretory functions:
- White Castle has decided to declare a Chapter 7 bankruptcy. “I had no idea,” said CEO E. W. Ingram III, “that we were so downmarket.”
- The Moon has decided to seek a more appreciative planet as a satellite. It is now somewhere between Venus and Mercury.
- The two or three Democrats who spent the night listening to the Cruz-o-Matic Rant were dismayed to have no access to duct tape.
- Ashton Kutcher hanged himself from a Baltimore lamp post with an extension cord,
- Ted Cruz is now the answer to twelve questions in the latest edition of Trivial Pursuit, all of which include the word “moronic” in them.
- The Estate of Ted Geisel (Dr. Seuss) is suing Cruz for misappropriating Green Eggs and Ham.
- The World Wrestling Federation has released a white paper explaining that their matches are less rigged than Tea Party candidate elections.
If you don’t understand all the above references, you might want to see this slideshow.